Birthday Love

It’s my birthday, the first that I’ve experienced since my mother left this earth 9 weeks ago today. For years, until she was no longer able, my mother would call me on my birthday at 11:10 a.m. which is the time that I was born, and we would joyfully play this silly little game that no one could understand except she and I. It was our moment, and I cherished it. There were some years that I would buy gifts for my mother on my birthday; I felt it only right that I honor her, because without her I would not be. My birthday has always been a special day to me; it’s a day that I just feel close to my mother.

Today is hard. I am missing that love that only she could give. But she left me a gift. A couple of weeks ago I was digging through my bible cover and I came across a letter that my mother wrote to me on February 18, 2007. You see, my mother had a habit of writing love letters to those she loved. For most of my life I selfishly tried to keep my mother all to myself. I never liked to share her with anyone. And so today on my birthday, as MY gift to YOU, I am sharing my mother’s love and wisdom.

A Love Letter From Mom

Monica, Sometimes you speak of being a loner having few close friends while growing up. Yet, you had good relationships with most of those you chose to let into your life. With all the many people I have met and known over the years, and there has been many. The are ten people I call “friend” and of the ten, six I grew up with and have known all my life, the other four I’ve known as an adult.

Monica, You are as you are because you choose to be, not trusting your judgement because of choices you have made. Monica we are all haunted and connected to events and decisions made in our past then, unconsciously we shut down when there’s a choice to be made regarding trust, which affects our present life. I’m not saying that’s your behavior, but I see it sometimes in myself.

Monica, you are so smart and beautiful. Both spiritual and spirited. You have never been an ordinary child. Your enthusiasm and optimism is infectious and at times, you just take my breath away. God is not finished with you yet.

“Riverside California”. You were so excited about something you wanted me to see. Andre’ took us towards town and at the crest of a more elevated place in the road there was a of view of the sun setting over the valley. The combination of dark and light over the landscape was breathtaking and beautiful beyond words. But do you know what was really beautiful to me, and touched me more than anything? It was the light and excitement in your eyes and on your face when you said, “It’s so beautiful, and God did it!” You had this huge smile on your face, as if you had asked for such beauty and God did it personally for you; and who’s to say that he didn’t.

You were always excited about something. From the birds, to the snakes, our dog Pierre’, or just running and playing with ALL your “FRIENDS” (smile). You were young then and Laredo was a fun place to be young.

Monica there’s a time and a season for everything, and you will know YOUR GOD is always in charge. You have all the necessary attributes to succeed in any area of expertise you choose. What God has for you is for you.

Believe me when I say, I am your biggest cheerleader. Always have been. From the moment I knew of your existence to this moment you are reading these words. Know that I love you and I have always, always done all I knew how to do to see that your life would be above reproach. But is seems it was always my wants for you clashed with what you wanted for yourself. From the way your hair looked to the way you wanted to dress, to what we ate. There was always SOMETHING– but I never gave up because I knew you we just growing up. Thank God you’re grown now!

I knew you would always be one of those people who marched to her own music. I knew you were more than just somebody. You were my miracle.

Mom